It's okay

I'm not perfect. It's something I will never be. Not matter how hard I work. No matter how hard I try. I will never be perfect. And after many years of refusing to accept that statement, I've finally realized it to be true. I will never be a perfect wife. I will never be a perfect mother. And I will never be a perfect Christian. And you know what? That's okay.

Any Marine

So, I ran across this site today, Any Marine, while reading Donna's blog. You know I love all our servicemen and women, but I especially have a soft spot for Marines. Mars is a Marine, as well as my brother. Being a military wife is hard, husband always being away, moving a lot, constant stress and worries, so many things that civilians mostly take for granted. Mars missed most of my first pregnancy, and then was in Iraq for the first 6 months of our son's life. That's something you can never get back.Ever. It's a daily sacrifice that these men and women AND their families make. I keep them in my daily prayers, and it actually brings tears to my eyes everytime I hear my 3 year old pray and ask God to take care of our military. I'm so happy that he has been able to pick up on the appreciation, support, and love that we have for the members of our military. It's an AWESOME thing to pass on to our children. So....if you would like to pick a marine or any member of the military go to that website, get their addy, and send them a little something. It doesn't have to be a huge package, just something, anything to bring a smile to their faces. Some of these guys, don't have anybody that writes them and sends them packages. Mars was lucky enough to get several big packages a weekwhen he was overseas. Enough for him and some of the marines in his unit. But many aren't as lucky. So take some time out of your busy schedule, and show some love for our guys that risk their lives daily.

The Contender

Just finished watching The Contender, and I'm kinda bummed. Well, first of all, since the beginning I was going for Norberto "El Gallito" Bravo. He was my favorite of all the Contenders this year. I love boxing, but I'm such a girl, when it comes to picking my favorites. I don't look at skills or talent. I look at the type of person they are, their heart, their family. Silly, I know, but that's what wins me over. Sergio Mora won me over last season. Anyway, when Bravo lost I didn't really care who won the Finale. I actually thought it was going to be Steve "2 pound" Forbes, but he just didn't bring it tonight. It was a good fight, but "Bad Boy" Brewer was a little more active, a little more accurate that Forbes. I guess in the end it turned out for the best. Forbes isn't married, and doesn't have any kids so $500,000 are just for him basically. Brewer, on the other hand, has 4 kids and works long hours at a tire shop to support his family. So, he'd have more use for the money. Anyway, that's my little girlie point of view. Anyway, can't wait to the 14th, when Joey's fine looking looking butt gets in the ring. See?? Once again, being a girl. I love the sport, and when the fight is on, I'm all about boxing, but right before the fight, like during the weigh-in, the press conference, and the locker room interviews, I'm like, "Umm.....hold up..." Seriously, I need to stop. Oh!! Did you see the Rocky movie that's going to come out?? What the??? Okay, I'm not even going to say anything about Sylvester Stallone making a movie where he fights Antonio"Magic Man"Tarver.I'm not going to say anything. Sly you're a hottie, you know, but baby, you're too old, honey. You just look silly. Now cut the movie making crap(especially the boxing), and come sit with Momma. Come on. It's crazy, but you know I'm gonna watch it anyway. Let me get my butt off this chair, and go to sleep. See ya.

Sleep...

Lately, I've been soo tired. I don't have energy to do anything at all. I know it's because I'm just not getting enough sleep. Once the kiddoes are in bed, I read, scrap, get online, clean, instead of just going to sleep. Like now, it's 1:30 am my boys are asleep and I'm here blogging. As soon as I'm done I'll probably scrap a bit. It'll be 3 by the time I'm done and I'll be up at 6:30 when Mars gets home. I'm seriously getting 3,4 maybe 5 hours of sleep. And that's interrupted sleep, too, because Cy will wake up usually around 4 am wanting his bottle. This has got to change. But if I go to sleep when the kids are asleep, I'll miss out on my quiet time, alone, to do whatever I want. Ugghhhhh!! There has to be another way. I'll figure something out. My brother and I were just talking about James, Mars' best friend, and he was saying how young he looked for his age. Seriously, this guy looks maybe 22. After thinking about it for awhile, he doesn't have the stress and drama that marriage and kids can bring. He goes to sleep early, works out, doesn't drink, smoke or party. So, he looks GOOD!! Soooooo, I need to make some changes...BAD. I've been working out a bit, but I've been taking it pretty easy. Well, Cy's 6 months now, and my body has had more than enough time to rest. It's time to kick it into overdrive. Yep, I'm making some changes. Some people might not be too happy about some of them, but oh well, too bad, so sad. I'm off to bed. (BTW, this layout is REALLY old, but I love this pic and quote.)

9.11.06

Anniversary

Today's my 6th anniversary. 6 years, man, time flies, huh?? We've been through a lot in our marriage. Near death car accidents, deaths in family, Iraq deployment, cross country moves, hospital stays, 2 high risk pregnancies, NICU visits, too many nights alone due to military life, so much craziness, yet I'm still here lovin' this stupid stupid man.

PAIN

I love my art journal. It feels so good to just use art supplies and write. Write about me. My thoughts, hopes, desires, whatever. As you can probably tell, I'm going through some stuff right now. Really just reevaluating my life. Thinking about myself for a change. Doing what's best for me, and of course my boys, who are my strength to get up every morning and put on a smile. Here's a quote by Agatha Christie that's so dead on on what a mother's love is. Not all mothers, mind you. But this mother for sure. "A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes remorselessly all that stands in its path." So true, so true.

Drama

So,yeah, another pic of me. I've been taking pics of myself for the projects I'm working on. I always seem to put my hand like that when I'm thinking or frustrated. Today, my frustration is caused by drama. Family drama. I know that I'm blessed for having such a big family,but seriously, they drive me nuts. I sometimes just wanna stay away from them. Maybe move somewhere and not give them my number or address. Really. I'm serious. I think they drain me more than they support me. Ugghhhh!!!! I just wanna go away...far far away...with my boys...and a man that loves me. Away from it all. Just me, them, and happiness.

Awakening

Today was a really good day. We went to the zoo. Loved seeing Jace get excited about all of the animals, especially the giraffes. Went swimming for a little bit afterwards, ate pizza, and watched The Sentinel. James spent the day with us which is always good. He's great to be around. My brother came over for a bit, and loved that. Great conversation all day long. Especially love that. You know, I realized something today. Something crazy. But oh so good. So right. Just the thought makes me smile, and fills me with something I haven't felt in awhile...total and complete happiness.

Pic

Just trying to update my profile pic. Let's see if this works.

Just keep swimming...

September, already. Goodness, where has the time gone? I've been writing in my journal a lot lately, and I can already feel a few mini albums coming out of that. I've noticed that I hardly ever scrap myself, and I reaally need to start doing that so my kids can know who I am. I've been doing some, well A LOT of soul searching lately, and I need to document some of my thoughts and feelings. In the next couple weeks, that's what I'll be working on. Me. So, until then, here's a few layouts I made awhile back.